It Could Be Sweet
by Insomnikat
Summary: Sequel to The Words We Couldn't Say. Sleeping deep within the heart, the truth will either break you or... Sasuke ANGST. Kakashi. Itachi. Naruto. [COMPLETE]
1. Canta Per Me

**It Could be Sweet**  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Set three years later. Spoilers for the premise of the current manga storyline.  
Summary: ANGST. Set after another Sasuke/Itachi confrontation (see Author's note). How broken can one be before he's deemed unrepairable?

**Author's Note:** This is actually the **sequel to** **The Words We Couldn't Say**, which is primarily a one-shot Sasuke fic. It's short, won't take more then 10 minutes to read, so if this tickles your fancy, it might interest you to read why this story begins the way it does.

It is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED that you read **The Words We Couldn't Say** if, after the first two scenes, you're left utterly confused. But if can deal with the story starting with those circumstances without prior knowledge of what exactly happened before, then read on. Everything else that follows doesn't require previous knowledge like those two scenes. Summary: _Sometimes the end does justify the means._

* * *

In his dreams, Mother and Father were still alive. He was being raised learning things like trust, perseverance and devotion; not hate and vengeance. He knew absolute happiness and the feeling of completeness. The precocious little boy that he once was had never died with the burden of a great tragedy, but instead grown into a spirited young man.

Thus, it was only in his dreams that he ever felt alive. Because in his dreams, he and Itachi were together. The legendary Uchiha brothers: invincible, inseparable and unstoppable except by each other. As it should have been. Forever.

* * *

Two men stood in the doorway of a darkened room, their shadows reaching out to a figure lying on a mat on the floor. 

"He should not have returned."

Kakashi nodded, knowing he would not get any further explanation for this - partially voluntary - abduction from the village. He studied the young man beside him, his long dark hair pulled back in a loose ponytail and tucked beneath a cloak that would always seem two sizes too big for the slender figure Kakashi knew was underneath. "Why?"

The vagueness of the word was due to the several questions it represented. _Why did they always fight so? Why did he always stop within a hair's breadth away from death in each encounter? Why did he do what he did all those years ago to his family? To his brother?_

The other man - not quite grown out yet of his softer, deceivingly innocent in their boyishness features - turned his gaze away from his brother's resting form and towards Kakashi. "He isn't ready," was his cryptic response. It triggered an alarm in the older man's head, but for the life of him he could not place why. Itachi watched passively as the jounin pondered the message within the words. The amicable silence was broken once more with Kakashi asking, "Why?"

The _me_ was implied.

If he had blinked, he would've missed Itachi's eyes widen for a fraction of a second before narrowing and hardening once more. "We all have our debts to pay, _Kakashi_." Warning and a touch of weariness emphasized the pronunciation of his name. A shared past hung heavy between them as their eyes tore away from each other and returned once more to the broken figure on the mat.

"And I just walk out here with him."

From the corner of his eye, he saw Itachi's lips twitch in what he assumed had once been the boy's ability to smile. The sharingan eyes, however, danced with the laughter his lips could not. "There is yet a long way to go."

The travel itself took at least two days, and that was without the added problem of carrying a seriously injured comrade. But it wasn't the physical distance that Itachi had been referring to. Kakashi stepped forward into the dark room and knelt before his fallen ward. He cast a critical eye over the bruised and broken body. "Ahh," he agreed solemnly, brushing long dark bangs from the boy's forehead. _Is this how you feel on the inside?_ he wondered. Kakashi sighed wearily. "Sasuke..."

* * *

Where he was now, was absolute darkness. It was cold and it was still and he thought that if this was what death was like, well then, it wasn't that bad. Where he was now, was detached from the feeling world. There was no pain, no sadness. No anger, no memories, no laughter. Nothing existed. And so, then, perhaps he did not exist either. It was an almost comforting thought. But someone, it seemed, was determined not to leave him in this place. A soft, sweat melody permeated the darkness, calling to him and beckoning him outside. Sasuke didn't want to, but he found himself entranced by the sound. Contradictions danced in perfect harmony with each other: it was playful yet mourning, fleeting like a summer breeze yet possessing an inherent strength that he could not place. How was it that something so beautiful, so assuring, could come to carry such profound sorrow as well? It stirred something deep within his soul and brought a warmth he had not known he longed for since childhood. It wrapped itself around him and lifted him gently, slowly, out of his subconscious mind. It lay him down into a bodily form that felt stiff and heavy, binding him once more to the physical world. He thought that if he tried to move, there would be unimaginable pain. But the song continued to call to him, promising more warmth and beauty if only he opened his eyes. 

And so he did.

The stars greeted him beyond the darkness of the treetops from a clear night sky. A fire crackled beside him and warmed his face. Sasuke was lying on the ground, carefully tucked into several layers of blankets. The music, he realized, came from a single wooden flute. He focused on the haunting melody and made out notes of immense - grief? Yes, but that wasn't quite all of it. Loss, then? Or longing? He willed his head to turn towards the fire and the source of the exquisite melancholy. Dark eyes fells onto the back of a familiar head of shocking white hair.

The song slowed to an end. "How do you feel?" Kakashi asked as he lowered the flute to his lap, his back and the shadows cast by the flickering light of the fire hiding his unmasked face. Sasuke grunted reflexively, embarrassed to have been caught staring and tried to move his head back up to face the night sky. There was little else he could manage to do in his state.

"Ahh, I'm sorry." Kakashi's voice carried a hint of amusement as he shifted in his seat to face Sasuke, mask firmly back in place. He fished a canteen from his backpack and knelt before Sasuke. Gently, he lifted the boy's head with one hand and brought the water to his lips with the other. Sasuke coughed with the first gulp, spilling water on both himself and Kakashi. He made to apologize, but Kakashi shook his head and brought the canteen to his lips once more. Sasuke drank greedily. More than half the water was gone when Kakashi lay him back down.

"You play." Sasuke's voice was rough and barely audible.

"Yes," the jounin replied, watching his young ward carefully. "I do sometimes."

The boy's eyes fluttered closed. "It's... nice."

Understanding, Kakashi leaned back against the log he had been sitting on earlier and picked up his flute. He paused momentarily to glance at Sasuke before pulling his mask down once more. The boy would not open his eyes again. He brought the wooden instrument to his lips and continued to play well into the night, until he was sure the young Uchiha would remain of this world for another day.

* * *

When Naruto ate only two bowls of ramen, knowing full well he was being treated, Iruka knew something was up. 

"Don't worry about them so much," he said brightly to the boy, inconspicuously pushing a third bowl towards him. "Kakashi is probably with Sasuke right now, on their way home as I speak."

Wide blue eyes looked up at him hopefully. The boy really wanted to believe him. "But why didn't Kakashi-sensei tell anybody that he was going? How did he even know before the rest of us that Sasuke was gone again?"

Iruka brought the bowl to his lips and took a long, deep gulp of the soup. "Because he is Hatake Kakashi. And Sasuke is Uchiha Sasuke," he said thoughtfully.

Naruto frowned. "Oi! Iruka-sensei..."

The chuunin instructor laughed and patted Naruto reassuringly on the back. "When he was your age, Kakashi was just the same as Sasuke. Proud, rich, extremely talented and extremely stuck up. Naturally, this made him the crush of all the pretty girls," Iruka and Naruto both made a sour face. "And at the time, he too was the heir of one of the finest, most noblest families in the village to meet a tragic end."

"Really?" Naruto knew almost nothing about his teacher's past. He was clinging to the edge of his seat now. "What happened? What did Kakashi-sensei do? I mean, of course he turned out alright in the end, didn't he?"

Memories pursed Iruka's lips into a thin, grim line. "Maybe." He looked straight ahead, unwilling to meet the blue eyes and wild blonde hair seeking the confirmation he could not give. He closed his eyes. "You have to let them know, every day, that they don't have to bear it alone. That you'll always be there for them, whether they want you there or not."

"Iruka-sensei." There was concern in Naruto's voice now. "I don't understand you."

The older man opened his eyes and smiled weakly. "What you have to remember about geniuses, Naruto, is that despite all their brains and all their talent -- they tend to overcomplicate things."

* * *

The greatest puzzle that dwelled on all Konoha minds - at some point or another and in varying degrees - was that of Sasuke's defection. Everyone knew the violent fate that befell the once proud Uchiha clan, so it was only natural to point the finger at Sasuke's personal vendetta against his older brother. But Kakashi wanted to believe himself as one of the very few people still alive that understood the complexities of Uchiha thought. After all, he literally saw the world through their eyes. In the past few months, he began to question less the reasons behind Sasuke's departure and more on the reasons for his return. It disturbed him that the boy expressed little to no regret for the past three years, but had been for coming back. And perhaps the answer to that was where the real danger lay. 

One day not too long ago he'd stumbled upon Naruto and Sasuke in the forest. Undetected, he watched as his more boisterous student cornered the other demanding an answer to the three year old mystery. Sasuke had snorted at Naruto's absolute (if not wholly naive) belief that he would actually get a response. Before the blonde could let his anger get the better of him and attempt to physically force an answer out, Sasuke vanished with that frightening new speed he'd acquired, leaving Naruto momentarily lost and confused.

Since that day, Kakashi began to strongly suspect a new theory about the Uchiha. It pained him that, since The Third's death, he did not really have anyone who knew the Uchihas as well as he did to confide these suspicions to. The fact also was that his reputation as an Icha Icha Paradise fan preceded him. Yes, so maybe he was a bit of a romantic, but he was always serious when it came to the people closest to him. Mostly because, as a rule, he made sure there weren't a lot to be close to. As the overseer of Sasuke's training for those few months they were known as Team Seven, no one could've known the boy as well as he did save his teammates. The flip side, of course, was that meant no one would've been more capable of pulling Sasuke off this rather self-destructive path than he. Not that he hadn't tried. But Kakashi was just not one to force nor beat submission into another if he thought they were headed down the wrong path. Especially when said deviant was an Uchiha. That was perhaps Naruto's mistake - he had come on too strong.

When Sasuke left, he probably didn't expect to leave such strong feelings of loss with his absence. After all, he wasn't _really_ leaving anyone behind that needed him. Not in that life fulfilling way he so craved. Sakura, bless her heart, didn't need him to go on living and he knew it. He probably even suspected that her affections towards him were a hindrance to her own growth as a shinobi. Seeing how Sakura had grown under Tsunade's tutelage, Kakashi could not disagree. Naruto, on the other hand, Kakashi was still undecided on. He knew that Naruto had always held very strong, very passionate feelings towards the other boy that he still wasn't completely aware of. Kakashi could still see clearly in his mind the utterly crushed look on his face when he'd regained consciousness at the waterfall. The place where Sasuke had broken his heart, and almost succeeded in doing so physically. Kakashi also remembered how the bruising on Naruto's chest had lingered long after all the other wounds had healed -- as if even the Kyuubi power within the boy could not fully repair the damage Sasuke's betrayal inflicted on his heart.

And now here they were, less then a mile from said site of the waterfall, just on the edge of their country's border. Kakashi had quickly built a fire and settled Sasuke's sleeping form beside it before going further alone into the forest. Once a safe distance from the camp site, he released his dogs with orders to turn away any ninjas who may be searching for them, assuring them that they'll be within the village in a day or two, and to send one medical shinobi some time later in the evening, escorted by Pakku. He then refilled his canteen at the waterfall and returned to the camp to give Sasuke the fresh water. Still dangerously weak and in pain, Sasuke did not notice that the jounin had also slipped a strong sedative into the canteen to ensure he was out cold for the rest of the evening. Sure enough, just after midnight, he heard the familiar bark of his mutt Pakku returning to the site with Shizune in tow. She carried with her a large medical bag. "Kakashi," she greeted solemnly, her eyes already locked on the lying form by the fire.

"He's sedated," the jounin explained as Tsunade's right-hand (wo)man knelt beside Sasuke's still form and began to unpack her equipment. "I did what I could for his flesh injuries. But the internal bleeding..."

Shizune frowned as she lifted Sasuke's shirt. _Such a broken boy. _She looked back at the white-haired ninja. "How did this happen?" Kakashi winced under her careful scrutiny, and that was all the response she required. "Itachi," she mumbled and returned her attention to Sasuke, rolling up her sleeves to begin the long process of healing the boy's physical wounds. The other wounds she would have to trust in Kakashi to heal. At least as best he could.

When she was done, it was almost dawn. She stood up and nodded towards Kakashi, who'd disappeared a good portion of the night while she was working on the boy. Something told her though that he strayed nowhere near the village, despite how close they were. "Thank you," he said, and there was sincere relief and gratitude in his voice.

Shizune shrugged nonchalantly and pulled her medical pack on her back, ready to set off again. "What do you want me to tell Tsunade-sama?"

Kakashi's eyes wandered to Sasuke. He was deceivingly peaceful in his slumber. "I need time."

* * *


	2. Family

_"Sasuke..."_

He stirred restlessly. _Just a few more minutes_, he thought and groaned lightly.

_"Sasuke..."_

He heard the flip of a light switch and, from behind closed eyelids, could see that someone was standing before the doorway. From the mild floral scent, he knew it was his mother. _"Wake up, Sasuke,"_ she called gently. _"It's time."_

* * *

His eyes snapped open to darkness. Sasuke groaned, his body feeling stiff and his muscles strained. His chest and left arm were heavily bandaged, and he realized the reason for his discomfort was the fact that he'd been lying on a wooden floor for some time. Sasuke blinked. The ceiling that came to view as his eyes adjusted looked eerily familiar. Slowly, painfully, he turned his head to the side. Beside him on the ground were chalk lines, somewhat faded and worn with time. They were shaped in the the form of two bodies: one lying on top of the other. Sasuke's heart seized.

He shot to his feet, only to have his legs buckle and force him to his knees. The room, _this _room, began to tip and sway around him. "No..." he managed to gasp.

There was someone, he realized, standing a few feet away in front of a table. There were candles set up on it, all arranged and lit like a mini shrine. "You're up."

_Kakashi. _"You..." Sasuke growled, trying once more to climb to his feet and failing miserably. He held himself up with one hand and tried not to look at the outline of his slain parents just inches away from his fingers. He glanced back instead at the doors and the open night sky beyond. Chains and broken seals lay carelessly in the moonlight. "What have you done?"

"This?" Kakashi waved innocently towards the candles on the table. "I'm paying my respects." He walked over and offered a hand to the boy. "Something you haven't done in a while, I think."

Sasuke slapped the hand away with a sneer. "How dare you? This room was locked for a reason!" Kakashi watched with mild surprise as the boy, fueled by his outrage, attempted to stand a third time. This time, he succeeded. His eyes were wild with outrage and horror. "HOW DARE YOU!"

Kakashi would later admit that he did not expect Sasuke to lunge at him at that moment and in his condition. He'd jumped with the surprising agility of a cat, but his attack on a whole was clumsy. That tended to happen when one was driven purely by emotions. It took less then five seconds for Kakashi to grab the boy and pin him to the ground before any punches could be thrown. _Five seconds too long_, he thought to himself. _I'm getting too old for this._ He was breathing heavily now, both from the adrenaline and exertion of holding down the struggling body beneath him. "Stop. It. Sasuke."

Each word was pronounced distinctly, and the boy stopped immediately. But Kakashi did not loosen his hold. Instead he leaned over deliberately, close enough to feel Sasuke's breath on his skin. Close enough to see his own breath tickle the dark hair at the nape of his neck as he bent over the boy's ear. When Kakashi spoke again, Sasuke shivered. "Your parents are watching," he whispered, his tone dangerously - _sensuously - _ low. "I won't fight you." He paused to listen to the somewhat irregular breathing of the boy.

Sasuke was suddenly struggling again. "Get off me!"

Kakashi complied, but only because the feel of the boy's squirming against him was ... uncomfortable. "You're weak," he said, turning his back on his young ward to say his final prayers before extinguishing the candles one by one with his fingers. "You need to rest." When he looked back, Sasuke was on his feet again, indignant and panting heavily. Kakashi shook his head and sighed. "You shouldn't push yourself so hard."

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, or perhaps to yell some more, but was stopped short when he was stricken by a sudden burst of pain in his chest. He screamed in agony and clutched at his chest, crumpling once more on the floor. He was lifted up almost immediately and carried out of the room. Moonlight illuminated the profile of his sensei's face looming over him. "I'm taking you to your room," he explained gently as they passed familiar, empty hallways. "Your wound reopened. I'll need to rebandage it."

Sasuke nodded feebly, still clutching his chest tightly. He could feel the blood soaking through. After what seemed an eternity, he felt himself laid down on a mattress. A cool hand touched his forehead and brushed away damp bangs from his face. When had he begun to sweat? Sasuke had no clue.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed and noted how the boy's breathing was coming faster, harder, more erratic. "You're feverish," he said, troubled. _This isn't right. _He made to get up and call for some help, but a small hand shot up and grabbed him by the wrist. Kakashi looked down in surprise.

"Wait," Sasuke whispered, his feeble grasp already slipping from the jounin's wrist.

"Sasuke..."

The boy couldn't help but smile. "Mother... she used to say my name like that." The older man's eyes widened momentarily. Sasuke was getting delusional. Again, a small hand reached up searching for him. Kakashi met it with his own and folded both palms over it, enveloping it completely. "I'll take care of it," Sasuke murmured as he began to slip from consciousness. "It's just me. I'll be alright."

A few seconds later, his hand went limp in Kakashi's. The jounin nervously brushed at the unruly bangs on Sasuke's forehead once more. When he felt sure the boy was still alive and was merely sleeping, he placed the small hand gently back at his side. "Okay," he whispered. He didn't like it, but he would tend to the wound and trust that Sasuke was not entirely delusional to not know what he was talking about. Guilt also kept Kakashi from leaving the boy's side. After all, had he not provoked this by bringing him into _that_ room? It was cruel, but he had wanted to know. He'd heard stories and speculations about what played out in that room, how the clan leader and his wife - Sasuke's parents - had been slain, but gossip was nothing compared to seeing it with his own eyes. To see it in Sasuke. It was wrong and it was utterly selfish of him, but to stand any chance of helping the surviving Uchiha, he had needed to know. At least, that's what he told himself. He put a hand on the boy's shoulder and squeezed softly. "I'm sorry."

And Kakashi sat, tormented by his guilt, and waited.

* * *

The chase was on. The trees he passed were reduced to nothing more than shadowy blurs. The exposed skin of his face, his arms, his legs were covered with small cuts from stray branches he failed to avoid. His heart raced with exhilaration and fear. After a few minutes, feeling he'd gained enough ground to afford himself a quick rest, Sasuke jumps down to the base of a large tree and quickly hides in the underbrush. This time, he would not get caught. Huddled amongst the thickest bushes, Sasuke draws his knees up and wraps his arms around them. He leans his head back against the tree and closes his eyes, trying to quiet his breathing. He figures he'll count to fifty before he starts moving again.

_1...2...3..._

Briefly, he remembers a time when a certain obnoxious blonde had somehow managed to sneak up behind him. _That idiot_, he thought, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Somehow, that incompetent excuse for a ninja had gotten past his guard in a way few ever could. Even now, he was momentarily distracting him from his current situation. It was annoying.

_...26...27...28..._

His eyes open a slit. There is something moving towards him. Unconsciously, he holds his breath and waits.

_...39...40...41..._

His hands fall from his knees and hang loose but ready at his side.

_...48...49..._

_Fifty_, he mouths silently. Every muscle in his body tenses, but the forest around him remains still. Slowly, he draws a kunai from his pack and prepares to leap from his hiding place running. But a fraction of a second before he moves, a flock of birds bursts from a nearby underbrush.

And it's too late.

* * *

"SASUKE!"

He blinks, gasping as a sudden flow of much needed air fills his lungs. His heart is pounding painfully against his chest. Gradually, he becomes aware that he's sitting up on a mattress. His eyes clear and he finds himself face to face with a rather shell-shocked Kakashi. One hand is holding Kakashi's arm firmly, fingers turned inward with intent to pierce skin. He'd pulled the older man towards him and locked him down, close enough for his other hand to draw a kunai from the jounin's pack and push it onto his throat.

_Shit._

Sasuke lets go immediately and bows his head to hide his face. He tries not to see the stain of blood on the small blade in his hand nor the cut he'd just inflicted on the older man's neck. "You woke me," he mumbles apologetically.

Kakashi stumbles back, one hand already on his neck feeling through the cut fiber of his mask at the wound on his neck. It stung, but it wasn't deep. Sasuke had stopped just in time. He eyes the boy wearily in the darkness. "You were having a nightmare."

A pair of large, dark orbs stare back at him from beneath a curtain of equally dark hair. Something stirs in those eyes before they're cast downward again, away from him. Something Kakashi wasn't meant to see. "You're reflexes are good," he says absently, filling the awkward silence. _It's why you've grown so fast, isn't it?_ "I'm glad you're okay now."

"Am I?" The words are spoken hardly over a whisper, but Kakashi hears them. Sasuke looks down at his hands, at the bloodstained kunai, and throws it back against the wall. "Why did you bring me here?"

Kakashi rises to his feet slowly. He knows Sasuke is watching him, but he cannot see the eyes beneath the curtain of hair of his strategically bowed head. There is danger in the air, warning him. _But this is Sasuke_, he argues with himself. _I shouldn't be afraid of him_. "Because I needed to know."

A hollow laugh pierces the space between them. "You didn't find me then, did you? My brother found _you._" The laugh grew louder, bolder and more sinister. The sound chilled Kakashi to the bone. "He told you to bring me back." Eventually, the laughter died down, and Sasuke lay back on his mattress. The moonlight highlighted the delicate profile of his face. But his eyes remained closed, refusing to look at Kakashi. "Well, I guess peace was not meant for me either."

For a long time, Kakashi stood there studying the still form of his young ward in the pale light of the moon. It was hard to reconcile that such a fragile looking creature could be inflicted with so much ... so much terrible _things_ ...and still appear so serene, so deceivingly innocent in his sleep. Humorlessly, Kakashi thought_, I've been outdone in the tragedy department._

The boy's lips moved suddenly. "Kakashi-sensei, what are you thinking about?"

Dark eyes opened slowly and stared blankly at the ceiling, awaiting a response. Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "I was thinking... how sad people exist in the world."

He turned on his heel and walked out of the room, not bothering to look for a reaction, if any, from the boy. "Sleep well, Sasuke."


	3. Nightmare

Even though the sun was in his eyes, he could've sworn the man who stood before him was Naruto. It _had_ to have been Naruto. No kage bunshin could have been that good. But Sasuke's greatest mistake, just as it had always been, was allowing Naruto to get close.

Close enough to hurt.

Sasuke cringed as pain shot through his arm now twisted behind his back. "Did you really think I wouldn't take you," a serpent tongue flicked sickeningly against his earlobe. "Before I _take_ you?" The chuckle that reverberated from his throat was creepy and downright sinister. "You let your guard down. That is unacceptable."

Sasuke felt nauseous and tried not to throw up. He shut his eyes tightly and struggled once more to free himself from the death grip. He screamed in frustration. A face brushed against his own, cheek against cheek, as he tried in vain to pull away. "What have you done?" his brother's voice breathed accusingly in his ear.

_What have you done?_

* * *

Sasuke's eyes shot open. His heart rammed hard against his chest, threatening to break it. Sweat covered his entire body and soaked the bedsheets. And there was blood. He could smell it.

Trembling, he pushed himself into a sitting position and looked beneath his shirt at the wound that refused to heal on his chest. He yanked at the clothing, wincing as it brushed along his chest, pulling it over his head and off in one quick motion of his arm. He used the somewhat drier portion of the sleeves to wipe at his face and neck. The cool night air on his damp skin gave him goosebumps. He untangled his legs from the clingy and sweat-soaked sheets. Eyes scanned the darkness as he rose slowly to his feet. Where was the gauze? He could've sworn he saw it near the door earlier.

Sasuke's chest began to throb with another pain besides that of his beating heart trying to break free. He grunted in frustration and, clutching his bandaged and bleeding chest, made his way out into the hallway. Hobbling towards the sitting room, his eyes narrowed on the familiar white head - silver in the moonlight - sticking out from the end of the couch. On the coffee table was the much needed gauze. He stumbled towards it.

"I'll do it."

Sasuke looked back at Kakashi, who lay still on the sofa staring up at the ceiling. He collapsed to a kneeling position and watched as the older man pulled himself up to his feet in one fluid, effortless motion. Kakashi came over and hooked both hands under Sasuke's arms, pulling him up gently and maneuvering him onto the sofa he'd occupied just moments before. Heat from his body still radiated from the cushions. Kakashi pushed the boy gently on his shoulders to a lying position. Sasuke closed his eyes as a large, cool hand brushed damp bangs from his face. "You need a haircut," he heard Kakashi sigh. "Try to relax."

It was a new and comforting sensation, this feeling of being enveloped in the older man's warmth. He turned his head towards the cushion and the faint scent of his former teacher there. Clean, soothing and simple. Like a light rain. With the warmth still radiating from the sofa, it made him think of autumn. He wondered then what Kakashi's favorite season was. A hiss escaped his lips as cool fingers pressed lightly on his lower ribs where the bandaging ended and the rest of his abdomen began. "It's almost soaked through," Kakashi observed as he traced the edge of the thin cloth across the boy's chest. "What were you dreaming about?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. _So he heard_. "Nightmares."

Kakashi nodded and proceeded to remove the ruined bandaging. He did not pursue the topic, and for that Sasuke was grateful. Within minutes, he lay exposed from the waist up to his former teacher. "This is going to sting," Kakashi warned as he dabbed a cloth with alcohol and began to clean the ugly, stubborn gash that refused to stay closed. Sasuke dug his fingers into the cushion as his exposed skin reacted to the chemical. To make a sound would have been a sign of weakness. A hand eventually slipped under the arch of his neck while the other pressed against his abdomen, moving him once more into a sitting position. Kakashi kneeled before him, eyes level and fresh gauze in hand. They stared at each other for a moment in the darkness. Wordlessly, Kakashi reached under Sasuke's arms and began to rewrap the wound. He saw Sasuke's increasing discomfort in having to hold up his arms awkwardly as the gauze and his hands worked around him. "Put your hands on my shoulder," Kakashi suggested without pausing in his work. The young Uchiha hesitated for a moment before complying. With every other circle he made around Sasuke's chest, Kakashi pressed one palm firmly against the dressing to ensure a tight fit. "Can you breathe okay?"

"Yes."

Satisfied with his work, Kakashi cut the gauze and tucked the rest of it into place. His hands fell to either side of his patient. "Done."

Their eyes met once more in the darkness. Another moment passed. Sasuke's hands lingered on his shoulders. Kakashi stared at him curiously, trying to read the strange expression on his face. "Thank you," Sasuke said at last, releasing Kakashi's left shoulder to examine his newly dressed chest wound.

"You should try to rest," the jounin reminded him softly. "You can stay here if you want."

The boy nodded sheepishly. "Will you... stay?" There was a sense of strength and stability in the jounin's presence, and he did not want to be alone right now.

Sasuke's hand slipped from Kakashi's right shoulder as the latter rose to his feet. "Until you fall asleep," he promised.

He retrieved a nearby throw and threw it over the boy as he lay back down on the sofa. Curled up against the cushions, Sasuke looked much smaller and more fragile then Kakashi had ever seen before. He sat on the edge of the coffee table facing the sofa and watched as his young ward drifted into another restless sleep. A frown soon marred his delicate features. He began to whisper incoherent words under his breath. "Not... suffer was... enough." Kakashi willed himself not to interfere again. The cut on his neck from earlier still stung against his skin. No, Itachi had spoken the truth: Sasuke wasn't ready yet. The wounds were still too fresh and refused to heal. For now, all Kakashi could do was close his eyes and try to block out as best he could the tortured confessions of the last Uchiha son.

* * *

Early the next morning, Sasuke had wandered off to the lake to be alone with his thoughts. Kakashi had remembered countless times before, while he was still ANBU, seeing the child sitting alone by the water. The reasons why he never approached the boy then was the same as his reasons for not pursuing the boy now: everyone needed their place of solace. So he busied himself with preparing lunch instead.

Later, he would be informed by masked ANBU that Sasuke had been involved in an incident. Naruto had somehow found out about their return to the village and found the Uchiha sitting alone on the water's edge. He confronted him. Words were exchanged. According to the ANBU's report, it was when Naruto grabbed Sasuke's wrist angrily that the latter snapped. Now, the lake was half the size it used to be. Naruto, thanks to his kyuubi power, survived the -- _energy burst_ was the unofficial term. Several ANBU were injured from the explosion, but Sasuke was nowhere to be seen.

Kakashi pressed a hand to his forehead and sighed. "I'll deal with him."

The one who was obviously the ANBU captain stepped forward. "From what we have seen, you cannot control him. No one can."

"Oh?" Kakashi raised his brow curiously. "So you've been watching?"

"Since he returned several months ago."

_The Hokage believes him to be a threat. And perhaps myself as well._ "It is not my goal to _control_ him."

The ANBU bowed formally, long dark hair falling loosely around the mask. "Forgive me, Kakashi-san. I did not mean it that way." He nodded towards the three other ANBU standing not too far away and they scattered instantly. "We follow our orders," reminded the ANBU.

"And I follow mine," Kakashi replied. They saluted farewell and in a second, Kakashi was alone in the kitchen. Several moments passed before he allowed himself to turn his head partially towards the back door. "I apologize, but lunch will be a little cold today."

Sasuke's shadowy figure appeared in the doorframe. "That's fine."

Silently, the two took their seats across from each other at the table.

* * *

Naruto was rather embarrassed to be walking on the path escorted by two ANBU. A few passing villagers stared. They stopped beneath the shade of a large tree as a third ANBU appeared in front of him. This newcomer, who was only just a little taller than Naruto, dismissed the other two with a small hand gesture. A soft breeze allowed the long, dark hair to dance freely around the ANBU captain. Both hands reached for his face and removed the mask.

"Neji!" Naruto exclaimed. He knew the genius, only a year older than himself, had been made jounin. But ANBU captain? His awe and respect for the Hyuuga deepened instantly. "Hey, are you allowed to take off your mask?"

A kind smile graced Neji's face. "Naruto-kun, what were you doing out there?"

_Oh_. Naruto scratched the back of his head nervously. "I heard he was back. I just wanted to talk to him."

Neji crossed his arms against his chest and raised a brow. "And what did you say to him... exactly?"

_"You look like shit."_

_"I don't want to play with you today, Naruto."_

_"Do you know how scared Sakura was when she heard you disappeared again?"_

_"Do you expect me to feel sorry? I'm not."_

Naruto's eyes fell to his feet. "What I said..."

_"Bastard! Don't you get it? No matter how much of a dumbass you become, I... you... will always be my friend."_

_"Hn. I don't want your pity."_

_"It's not -- ! You're not the same as I remember."_

He looked at his hands and curled them into fists. "What made him blow up was..."

_"What did they do to you? ... W__hat did you do to yourself?"_

A hand fell on his shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. He looked up at the older boy, momentarily lost in his thoughts. "It's okay, Naruto," said Neji as his eyes raised to the sky, following several birds as they flew in the direction of the Uchiha compound. "You were trying to be a good friend."

"Yeah," he said sullenly. _Trying being the operative word._

"I never knew Sasuke enough to say much about him. But I believe in Kakashi-sensei," said Neji as he placed the ANBU mask back onto his face. "You should too."

* * *

He knew it was rude to stare, especially when one was eating, but Sasuke couldn't help it. This was the first time he'd ever seen Kakashi without his mask on. He wondered if he was the first or the last of Team Seven to finally have seen his face. It was hard to tell with the casual manner in which Kakashi removed it before reaching for the chopsticks. So unlike those first few months when it seemed, at least in their impressionable genin minds, that he guarded the secrets the mask hid jealously.

Kakashi paused, chopsticks halfway towards his lips, and blinked at Sasuke. The boy looked away immediately and felt a rush of blood color his face. After a few seconds, Sasuke picked up his chopsticks and started on his own meal. He wondered idly if he would have been able to go through the Academy without as much attention as he did if he too had picked up the habit of wearing a mask. He spared himself another glance up at the jounin. Kakashi had emptied his bowl and was now returning the favor of watching Sasuke as _he_ ate. The latter felt his ears begin to burn with embarrassment.

"I want you try to answer something for me," said Kakashi. Still maskless, Sasuke was mildly surprised to hear that his voice was pretty much the same deep, husky voice he'd always known and not a result of wearing the mask. Sasuke reached for his tea, took a long sip, and waited. Kakashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully for a moment. "Is 'What are you searching for?' the right question?"

Sasuke was expecting a question about the incident earlier with Naruto. Or maybe about what happened with Itachi. He was even ready to refuse an answer to anything about the past three years. But he should've known better than to expect logical thought from Kakashi. Of course he'd guess at the heart of the matter and almost get it right. Almost. It was close enough, however, to shock Sasuke to his feet. Kakashi merely blinked up at him. Sasuke lips parted, but words would not come to him. His eyes locked with Kakashi's, confused and seeking some help. After a moment, Kakashi broke the silence with a wave of his hand, "No, I guess not." He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. Still at a loss of how to react, Sasuke watched as the older man rose to his feet. "It's 'What are you running from?' then."

His heart skipped a beat. "Wha--" Sasuke's eyes widened and he stepped back in surprise, giving all the confirmation Kakashi needed. "That... it's not. What do you want from me?"

Kakashi took an unassuming step towards him. "I don't want anything from you, Sasuke. I don't even need an answer." His voice dropped considerably so that when he spoke again, his voice seemed to resonate within the boy's soul. "You never have to answer what you don't want to." He closed the gap between them and put a firm but gentle hand on the boy's shoulder. Kakashi's eyes squinted up in a smile. "It would just be nice, is all." A shiver coursed involuntarily through Sasuke's body. Kakashi let go and stepped away - two, three, four steps until he was standing at the doorway. He glanced back at Sasuke, who still seemed numbed by his words. _He never thought about it that way,_ Kakashi thought. _Neither did I, at the time_.

Closing the door between them, he almost doesn't hear the murmured response. "I want to."

* * *


	4. Ghosts

**Author's Note:** This chapter is a little different from the other chapters, POV wise. And I still kinda suck at intros. Just wanted to give the head's up.

* * *

It had grown dark a long time ago, but he continued to wander the streets of Konoha. He was searching for someone, and though many figures passed all around him, none of them was that person. Somehow, he found himself back at his apartment. A dark haired boy stood leaning against the wall near the entrance, waiting for him. He'd recognize that wild Uchiha hair and goggles anywhere.

The boy raised his head and grinned up at him. "You're late, Kakashi."

"I'm sorry, Obito," said Kakashi as he came to stand before his old friend. "I was looking for someone."

"Oh?" the boy raised a brow curiously. "And did you find him?"

Kakashi shook his head. "No."

The boy pushed himself from the wall and raised both arms up in a stretch. "Man, what a pain," he yawned. "Have you looked inside?"

Kakashi tilted his head slightly and studied the boy. He seemed amused. "No," he repeated.

Obito's grin grew wide and he stepped aside, gesturing towards the door. "Well, then."

Kakashi stared at the Uchiha for a moment longer, shrugged, and walked inside. The blackness surrounded him immediately, so dark he could not even see his feet, but he continued forward. A dim light appeared before him and he made his way towards it. A mirror. Kakashi stood before it and stared at his reflection. His left eye - Obito's eye - seemed to scrutinize him from behind the mirror, the dark swirls spinning lazily around the iris of their own accord. Kakashi sighed, "So it's you, after all."

* * *

He awoke with crisp, early morning air filling his lungs. Opening his eyes slowly, he saw that dawn had not yet broken. All was still in the house. Kakashi pushed himself up from the sofa and ran a hand through his unruly silver-white hair. An uneasiness lingered in his heart from the dream and forced him to his feet. Within minutes, he found himself standing before Sasuke's room. He did not have to look inside to know there was no one there. Kakashi closed his eyes painfully and pressed a hand to his forehead. "Sasuke..."

It was going to be a very _very_ long day.

* * *

Sasuke was just about to pass the final clearing before the forest began, not too far away from where Sakura had tried to stop him all those years ago, when the ANBU appeared. They surrounded him, ten strong. Much more than he expected. He lowered his head and smiled. "This will be interesting."

"Where are you going?" one of them demanded.

He glanced at each ANBU warily. _So these are the best chosen by the Fifth_, he thought. "Where do you think I'm going?" He challenged, his arms falling inconspicuously to his side.

"We cannot allow you to leave the village," came a woman's voice behind him.

Sasuke smiled and pushed his left leg back in a ready stance. The ANBUs did the same, a few with hands ready on the hilt of their katanas. He shook his head and chuckled. "I will give you all one chance. Get out of my way or I will kill you."

"Such threats are not necessary," a somewhat familiar voice responded calmly.

_An eleventh?_ Sasuke's eyes darted up to the treetops where another ANBU, recently arrived, stood. He sensed at least one more on the way. His eyes narrowed on the newcomer and transformed into the bloody red orbs of the sharingan. _That one is the captain_, he thought. Suddenly he sensed something small and fast coming towards him. He swerved just in time to feel a dart brush against his neck and smell poison on it. Three more were shot at him instantaneously from the left, right and above. The darts were aimed with planned precision. Despite how fast he could move, it would be impossible to dodge all three. Briefly, Sasuke remembered having had classes with a shinobi skilled in battle strategy. Well, he was good at games too. Sasuke leaped into the air and did a difficult eight-ring twist, allowing himself to catch the darts that came from the top and the right with his hands and swerving away from the third. Sasuke landed in a crouching position a few feet away, one palm pressed flat against the earth's surface. Two darts lay discarded at his side. Several gasps filled the air and, panting, Sasuke became painfully aware of someone standing just behind his crouched figure. _Shit! _He rolled onto his back, eyes snapped shut and arms raised instinctively and belatedly in defense of whatever final blow would be dealt to him.

Nothing came.

He felt a soft thud as something collapsed before him. Sasuke opened his eyes. "Kakashi!" He screamed, horrified at the sight of the white-haired jounin kneeling before him. He scrambled to his feet and caught the older man in his arms as he fell forward. His fingers brushed the fourth, previously unseen dart lodged in the man's back. "No!" Sasuke gasped, involuntarily squeezing Kakashi's arms and causing him more pain.

"Get the Fifth!" Someone amongst the ANBU cried out. Several disappeared instantly towards the village.

Kakashi watched them go from the corner of his eye and sighed. He tried to relax despite the poison making him feel like he was burning from the inside out. Still, the fact that he could feel pain was reassuring in it's own way. _The poison was not meant to kill instantly,_ he winced. The heat, however, was excruciating. Dark shadows gathered around him and spoke in hushed voices.

_"He's fading too fast."_

_"Shouldn't we pull out the dart?"_

_"No, Tsunade-sama is on her way."_

Thin, delicate fingers brush hair from his sweating face. _"Stay."_

Kakashi heard the voice, the word. It was so close ... so rasped with guilt. As he faded from consciousness, he decided he'd try as best he could.

* * *

The boy swung his bare legs lazily over the pier. His toes touched the cool water and traced circles in it. Beside him, a man with a head of shocking blonde hair laughed and leaned back on his arms. "It's nice here, isn't it Kakashi?"

The boy looked up at the wide grin on his teacher's face and then out at the setting sun. It painted the sky in bright oranges, yellow and red. The lake reflected the sky, surrounding them above and below in warm, autumn colors. It was a magnificent sight. He shrugged and feigned disinterest, "I guess."

"Obito told me something interesting today."

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"He told me you found him."

Kakashi thought about it for a moment and shrugged again. "Maybe."

Suddenly, he felt himself in a headlock. A fist descended onto his head and began to rub furiously against his hair. Kakashi cried out in surprise, "Stop! Arashi-sensei!"

The older man released him and laughed out loud once more. He looked down warmly at his young student and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You made a promise, right? I know you won't let us down." He turned his gaze back towards the sunset and smiled knowingly. "Everything flows like a river through time. One day, Kakashi, you'll see something just as beautiful again."

* * *

He came to in a hospital room with a massive throbbing in his head. Kakashi groaned and turned his head towards the window. There the Fifth stood looking rather crossed and relieved at the same time. It made for a curious expression on her face. He blinked.

"You're a fool," she said. "An even bigger fool then that Naruto kid."

"Sasuke?" He managed to ask hoarsely as he tried to rise into a sitting position.

Tsunade shook her head and muttered something along the lines of, "You'll all be the death of me," and stalked out. A moment later, the boy in question stepped into the room. He stopped a few feet from Kakashi's bed and stared at him.

"Why did you get in the way?" he demanded.

Kakashi sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "I'm glad to see you're okay too, Sasuke."

"WHY?" he asked again, stepping forward with a look that threatened violence now that he knew the jounin would live.

Kakashi sat calmly in his bed and watched the boy tremble with anger and ... well, now was not the time to ponder such things. "It was not your time," he answered simply.

"But you figured it might be yours?" Sasuke growled. "Idiot! Who are you to decide who lives and who should die?"

Kakashi's hand shot out, grabbed Sasuke by the arm and yanked him towards the side of the bed. The boy glared at the offensive hand and then at the man. "Someone who cares," Kakashi hissed and let go before Sasuke could forcefully pull his arm away. He matched the boy's angry glare with his own intense stare. "Or have you forgotten what that's like?"

Sasuke's mouth opened in rebuttal, but the argument did not come to him. He frowned, angry at himself and angry at Kakashi for nearly getting himself killed and making him feel the way he did now. "You're even more annoying than Naruto," he spat.

Kakashi tried not to grin at the deja vu. With nothing more to say, the boy marched angrily out of the room.

"Wait," Kakashi called, stopping him at the doorway. The boy turned his head partially to glance back at him. "Will you be there when I get out?"

Sasuke put one hand on the doorframe and snorted. "Hn."

And he was gone.

* * *


	5. Subtext

Memory was a funny thing. It stubbornly kept Kakashi awake when he should've fallen asleep hours ago. For some reason, his mind had latched on to a particular event following Sasuke's chuunin elimination match with the Sound ninja. After performing the jutsu to seal Orochimaru's curse on Sasuke's back, and after Kabuto's attempt on the boy's life. Kakashi had taken to watching over Sasuke's hospital room and, knowing this, the nurse easily found him and requested his assistance in carrying her patient to the bath. Kakashi remembered how easy it was, once all the various tubes and wires were removed, to scoop the boy up in his arms. Sasuke was nearly thirteen then, but he felt much too light for his build. He had thought, at the time, that with the weight of the tragedy that befell the Uchiha family constantly bearing down on the narrow shoulders, that Sasuke would be a bit, well, heavier. But no, Sasuke never shared his burden. Still, Kakashi remembered how the boy, blind with the bandages wrapped over his eyes and a little drowsy from the drugs, had wrapped his arms instinctively around the older man's neck. How his small forehead had slipped perfectly, naturally, to rest in the hollow of the jounin's neck.

It's funny how the little things are remembered in one's mind. How only afterwards one becomes aware of the joy those fleeting moments possessed. The silent promises that were made. And Sasuke had trusted him so completely then. It made Kakashi wonder for the millionth time in the past three years how things would've played out if he'd done more with that trust.

A cool night breeze brushed against his face as he heard the soft click of his hospital window open and then close again.

His eyes opened slowly, the night sky now blocked from his view by the visitor at his bedside. "I thought you might come... Itachi."

In the darkness, he could not see the Uchiha's face. Even if he could, Kakashi doubted he could read the younger man's face. Kakashi closed his eyes again and sighed. "So you've been watching too?"

"I have my sources."

Silence had always been a common friend to them. Tonight, it took its usual place between the two and waited. Most of the time, it was Kakashi who would break the balance by speaking first. Only a handful of times had Itachi taken the initiative to do so. But once, a long time ago, something else had broken Silence. It had been Kakashi who had made the move then. Tonight, it would be Itachi.

* * *

He could not afford to have anyone care for him. His reasons for leaving back then were that simple. Why couldn't anyone see that? Sasuke stood in the dim entrance of the place he had once called home and hated it even more. Home was supposed to be where the heart was, and his heart had died here. So had his hopes, his dreams, his happiness.

His family.

The forsaken memories filled the place, haunted the hallways. But the hope... that lost hope... was the most painful of all the ghosts. Sasuke had protected himself from it with hate and loneliness. They were safe. He had focused on those feelings, molded his life around them, and they had never hurt him. Not in the way hope could. But that man he had once called his teacher - he was trying to bring it back. He was making Sasuke feel what he swore he could never allow himself to feel again, and it had almost cost him his life. It had been the same with Naruto. Everyone who ever tried to get close to him...

Sasuke slammed his fist into the wall in frustration. The wood splintered easily as his arm went through the thin wall. "Damn you!" he hissed through gritted teeth.

If he could choose, he would still prefer the pain of spilt blood over the slightest feeling of hope any day. Because if it was somehow cruelly taken away from him again, Sasuke knew he would not survive.

But he couldn't choose anymore, because _that man_ had interfered and made the choice for him. Was that selfish bastard even aware of the magnitude of his actions? Sasuke withdrew his now bloody hand from the hole in the wall and held it to his chest.

"Hatake Kakashi..." he cursed. He prayed. _Do you know that you've condemned me?_

* * *

Sitting casually on the window seat, one leg bent to rest his arm on, the other stretched the length of the frame, Itachi was at first unrecognizable to Kakashi. Illuminated by a cloudless night sky, Kakashi could now see that the Uchiha was wearing neither his large Akatsuki cloak nor scratched forehead protector. Instead, he wore a simple t-shirt and pants with his hair hung loose and free over his shoulder. This was how Itachi had slipped undetected into the village and into his room. He laughed internally when he thought about what the ANBUs assigned to watch the hospital must have concluded when they saw the rather lithe, nimble figure with flowing dark hair climb into the room. Even now, Itachi mocked the ANBU hidden in the shadows surrounding the building by sitting in plain view, his head bowed just low enough for his hair to conceal his full face. Slowly, he drew a small wooden instrument from his pocket and held it to his lips.

A soft, sweet melody permeated the silent darkness. Quiet at first, as if it were a creature gently being awoken from a long slumber. Kakashi knew the sound intimately. It was similar to the one he had played to Sasuke several nights ago. But then, had he not taught the older Uchiha that song too? But his solo, though it carried the same sense of loneliness and what could only be described as a haunting melancholy, was tinged with something darker. More anguished.

As expected of a young man who was skilled in everything he did, Itachi played so that every note of his tragic ballad was hit with marked precision. Almost playful yet mourning, fleeting like a summer breeze yet possessing an inherent strength. So beautiful, so assuring, and yet so profoundly sad. It stirred something deep within the soul and gave goosebumps to everyone who heard it.

But only the two men in that hospital room knew why such a song, when they played it, resonated so powerfully in others. Only they knew how the music gave voice to souls that longed to be heard.

Itachi stopped suddenly and hopped gracefully from the window, back to Kakashi's bed side. "He's coming," he said simply. Kakashi nodded and raised his hand, just slow enough for Itachi to pull away if he wanted, to tuck some of the dark silky hair behind his ear. Blood red eyes darkened beneath the loose bangs that partially concealed the young man's face. "The next time we meet," Itachi spoke, not bothering to mask the regret in his voice, "will be to fight."

Kakashi's hand fell quietly back to his side and he closed his eyes. "I understand," he whispered sadly. He felt the cool night air brush against his skin as the window opened once more.

Itachi spared one final glance back at the jounin. "He's grown stronger," he spoke softly as a shadow appeared in the hallway. "Kakashi, I hold you to your promise."

And as quietly as he slipped in, the true Uchiha heir melted back into the darkness.

* * *

"Kakashi!"

The man turned his head just in time to see the younger Uchiha burst into the room. Both eyes glowed with the power of the sharingan, glaring first at the window and then at the white haired man sitting up in bed. "Where is he?" he demanded, his eyes narrowing as he glanced back at the window. Sasuke ran towards it.

Kakashi raised his hand in warning as the boy passed the foot of his bed. "Sasuke, wait." From the corner of his eye, he saw several blurry shadows move swiftly in pursuit._ The ANBU won't catch him,_ he thought. _And neither will you. Not yet. _"You're not ready to go after him again."

Sasuke snorted in disgust, but relaxed his fist and made his way reluctantly to the bed side. For the second time that evening, Kakashi felt a pair of blood red eyes scan the length of his body. "I'm fine," he assured his young ward.

"What was he doing here?"

Kakashi sighed and brought a hand to his forehead. _What was he doing here? _"I'm not sure." A second passed before he let his arm fall back to his side and his eyes met Sasuke's. The sharingan no longer glowed beneath the unruly bangs. "What are you doing here?" he asked softly.

Sasuke lowered his eyes. "I heard the music."

_I came to see you._

Kakashi studied the profile of the younger Uchiha against the clear night sky. The resemblance to his brother was striking. "You've grown strong." Sasuke looked up, and their gaze held. "He wanted me to tell you that."

He watched carefully as the expression on Sasuke's face fell and he turned longingly, unconsciously, towards the window. His voice was distant when he spoke. "He said that, huh?" Kakashi noted how the boy's hands curled into fists once more. A bitter chuckle escaped his lips, chilling the older man's blood. "The words I wanted him to say..." Sasuke looked down at his clenched fists and willed them open. He stared at his palms as they shook ever so slightly. _How much blood had he spilt to hear those words? How much more was needed to hear it from his own lips? _"I don't know anymore," his voice betrayed a desperation.

Two larger hands folded over his own and pulled Sasuke closer to the bed. Kakashi laid his and Sasuke's hands against his chest and caught the younger man's eyes in a steady gaze. "Sasuke," he called in a smooth, deep voice. He felt a shiver involuntarily course through the Uchiha's body. "Sasuke," he called again, and this time the young man's eyes cleared long enough to return the steady gaze. Kakashi reached up and brushed at the unruly bangs once more. His fingers lingered momentarily to trace the delicate Uchiha jawline.

The hand then folded once more over Sasuke's own, keeping him close, as the dark eyes hardened and continued their silent scrutiny. Sasuke did not know how to react to the jounin's strange gesture. "Why?" he managed to whisper as yet another shiver coursed involuntarily through his body.

_Why do I feel this way?_

"Because you love him, " Kakashi stated simply, watching as the younger man's eyes widened in surprise.

"No." Sasuke began to pull away. "That's impossible."

"There is no shame in loving your brother."

Sasuke's whole body visibly trembled with denial. "You're wrong! How could I? After all he --"

Something clicked in his mind at that moment, and all of a sudden Sasuke couldn't fight. Denying the truth to oneself for nearly half a lifetime was one thing. Denying the truth before another person who somehow figured it out was another. A single tear rolled traitorously down his cheek.

_Father. Mother. I'm sorry. _

Kakashi let go and watched as the young man fell backwards, his shoulders slamming hard against the wall. How could it be that after all this time, after all he'd been through, the person he cursed at night was _still_ the one person dearest to his heart? Where did that hate begin and the love end? It really didn't matter now. The truth he'd been running from all this time had finally caught up to him and could no longer be denied. _I've betrayed everyone and sacrificed everything for you, brother._

As he slid to a sitting position against the wall, a familiar head of white-hair appeared before him and drew him into a dark, comforting embrace. There was simply no will left in Sasuke to resist. He'd been fighting so hard and for so long that in that moment, his entire body yielded completely to the older man. He was just. So. Tired.

Kakashi stumbled back a little as the young Uchiha collapsed into his arms. For once, Sasuke was heavier than he expected, and he was glad. It meant that he finally trusted Kakashi enough to share his burden.Lips brushed lightly against the young man's ear. "It is not a crime to love your family." Kakashi tightened his grasp on the fragile creature in his arms to try and still the trembling. "Sasuke..."

_I made this promise a long time ago._

"You don't have to run anymore."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Here I attempted to answer some questions. The key word, of course, being _attempted. _In doing so, I fear I may have actually raised a few more and quite possibly suckered myself into sentimentality and a bit of OOC-nees. At any rate, I'm pleased with what came out. Hope you were too. pets poor broken Sasuke I'll probably be able to wrap this up in the next chapter. 


	6. Rewind

_He's finally asleep, _Kakashi thought as he lifted his hand slowly from the mass of dark hair lying beside him. Sitting at the edge of the bed, Kakashi casts a weary eye down at the second Uchiha son sprawled in a sort of fetal position on the sheets. His cheeks are still damp from the tears. Without thinking, Kakashi brushes the back of his palm against the young man's face to dry it. Sasuke stirs at his touch and raises an arm to bury his face in the sleeves of his shirt. "You don't have to run anymore," Kakashi whispers again in the darkness. He halfheartedly tries to untangle the dark hair near Sasuke's now hidden face. His heart sits heavy in his chest with the guilt of having not been there for the boy all those years ago. Things might have been different then. Less painful... for everyone. "From now on, I'll take care of you. I promise." Kakashi lifts his head up to the clear night sky and allows himself to drift into a distant memory.

* * *

The stars were out in full tonight. Lying casually on a low branch on one of the old trees just outside the Uchiha compound, Kakashi yawned and raised both hands over his head in a stretch before tucking them behind his head. He had removed the standard issue ANBU katana from his back a while ago and left it to dangle precariously over the side of the tree along with his mask.

He turned a lazy eye towards the approaching figure below him and let out a sigh. "Just when I get comfortable," he muttered, pushing himself up to a sitting position. "You're late," he greeted.

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting," the apology came with a low bow of the head. Long dark hair fell over narrow shoulders. "I was... detained."

"Well, I guess we're lucky you're the captain then." Kakashi grabbed his things and leaped down to stand beside the young Uchiha. "Was it your brother again?"

Itachi nodded once and began walking towards the village. Kakashi fell in step beside him. "He wants to be with his big brother all the time," the white-haired boy observed thoughtfully. "That makes him your biggest fan, doesn't it Ita-kun?"

A warning glare from the corner of the Uchiha's eye made Kakashi chuckle. "I know. I'm sorry. But Uchiha Itachi taking time to play big brother -- it's cute, that's all."

Itachi stopped suddenly and cast his eyes heavenward. Kakashi also stopped and watched as a troubled, faraway look appeared on his companion's face. "Sasuke... is trapped by his love," the Uchiha sighed.

Kakashi raised his brow curiously. "That is a strange way of putting it."

Itachi closed his eyes as a gust of wind swooped down between them and carried a handful of leaves up and into the darkness. Something about the young man's composure under the pale moonlight disturbed Kakashi. "If something should happen, would you take care of him?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "Itachi!" he exclaimed.

The Uchiha opened his eyes and turned to face Kakashi. The expression on his face was deadly serious. Kakashi shook his head in dismay. "Your father --"

"Forget about him," Itachi dismissed. "I'm not interested in _the clan_ right now. I'm interested in you."

Exhaling deeply, Kakashi regained his cool and nodded. "Of course."

"Is that a promise, then?"

A hand clapped onto the younger man's upper arm and squeezed. "I will do what I can," Kakashi vowed. Their eyes locked and held for several seconds before Itachi turned away, satisfied, and continued walking towards the village.

"But I don't understand," Kakashi called after him. "Itachi-kun, what are you thinking about?"

The Uchiha turned back in profile, a rare grin on his face. It's unnatural presence unnerved Kakashi. "The first step to avoiding a trap," Itachi spoke just over a whisper. "Do you remember it?"

"The first step is to see it," the white-haired young man recited with a frown on his face. _Seeing the trap, one can then proceed to go through the various ways in which it can be avoided, choosing the one in which the most desirable result of the mission could be achieved. _Itachi's grin stretched into a full smile then. It was the only smile Kakashi had ever seen on the younger man and would ever see again.

* * *

"It's you."

The words broke Kakashi from his reverie in time to see Sasuke curl his hand into a fist and rub at his eye with it. There was a childish innocence in the simple gesture. "Whenever I wake up," the young Uchiha mumbled sleepily, "it's always you I see." He pushed himself up to a sitting position and ran a hand once through his unruly hair. "Why is that?"

No words came to Kakashi, so he spoke none. He merely stared at the boy - _no, young man_ - for a moment before getting up to retrieve the damp face cloth he'd left in the basin earlier. He sat back down at the bedside and reached towards Sasuke with it, but caught himself halfway and put it in the Uchiha's hand instead. The young man looked both embarrassed and grateful. He quickly wiped his face and neck clean of the dried tears, using his now damp hands to restore some semblance of order back to his hair. Kakashi took the used cloth from him and tossed it back into the basin. "How do you feel?" he asked softly.

"Better," Sasuke replied, his eyes still wandering shyly around the room at everything but his former teacher. "Thank you." A shift in the weight distribution on the bed alerted Sasuke of the heightened proximity of the jounin, who'd taken the initiative to close the gap between them. There was barely an inch keeping their legs from touching. Kakashi's eyes narrowed on the young man before him. There was something different about him, something he couldn't quite place.

"Sasuke," Kakashi's voice was heavy with the tone that meant he wasn't going to ask twice. "Look at me."

Reluctantly, Sasuke obeyed. But he found it hard to meet and hold Kakashi's gaze. Though the eyes themselves were softened by sympathy and what resembled familial affection, something else stirred within the red and black irises that made Sasuke feel like he'd been put under a microscope to be examined.

He did not like the feeling.

After a few seconds he broke away, no longer able to contain the memories such intense scrutiny brought back in him. "I should go," he mumbled apologetically as he made to get off the bed and leave. A hand latched on firmly to his right arm to stop him, and instinctively Sasuke swung his left arm back with intent to permanently severe the hold.

_You won't EVER touch me again._

The counterattack was so quick, Kakashi didn't see the fist come towards him. Not to say, however, that he didn't expect it. After all, he'd learnt the hard way a few nights ago the consequences of catching the young Uchiha by surprise at night. A sharp metallic sound broke the silence in the room as Sasuke's left hand connected hard with the metal basin. Kakashi let go of Sasuke's arm when he heard the young man scream in pain and frustration and lowered the basin - now with a gaping hole where its base had once been - to the floor. "I'm sorry," his voice was filled with sincere regret. "I did not mean to hurt you."

"What do you want?" asked Sasuke sourly, rubbing his left hand with hurt indignation. He made a mental note that though they were probably equals now when it came to jutsus, the speed in which Kakashi caught on to his defensive attacks and how to combat them these past few days was proof that there was still a technique or two the white-haired jounin could teach him.

Kakashi scratched his head for a moment before propping up his pillows and lying back, legs stretched out in full on the bed. He stared down at Sasuke still sitting at the bottom half. "Stay the night."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed on the dual meaning of the request. "Why?" _Do you think I'll run away again?_

"Because..." Kakashi's eyes squinted up playfully. "I'm lonely." _And because you look lonely too._

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but made his way over to lie on the other half of the bed. He owed the man this much for saving his life. A comfortable silence fell between them as they both stared at the hospital ceiling lost in their own thoughts. Sasuke was surprised at how pleasant it was, this amicable silence. To have such companionship without the need for talking or action. He'd given up on ever experiencing any form of peace in his lifetime.

An image of his brother flashed suddenly in his mind, as it always did when he was about to touch on a kind of hope or inner tranquility, reminding him that happiness was not meant for them. Their fates had been set a long time ago. Sasuke's lips parted and a voice that sounded more cracked than he would've wanted asked, "How did you meet?"

Sasuke watched from the corner of his eye as Kakashi exhaled deeply and closed his eyes. "His ANBU initiation. I was assigned to the mission with your brother."

Kakashi turned his head to face Sasuke, a kind of sadness in his voice. "Itachi had requested me specifically for his team. The clan disapproved." He paused to smile weakly at the young Uchiha's confusion. "I had a face like that too. His first words to me had been, 'Why have I not met you before?' "

_The Uchihas do not want their first son associating with an... abomination._

_I see. The sharingan must stay within the blood line. _

Kakashi winced with the pain of remembrance. "He reached up and touched the scar on my eye. I didn't pull away. Then he asked me who the boy was."

_His name was Obito. He would've been your cousin._

_And you cared deeply for each other. Like brothers._

_In the end, yes._

"I remember how he'd stepped back and, just looking at his face, I knew he'd come to some final decision. He said, 'Then you too are my brother.' "

_Obito cared enough to trust you with his eye. Your life is now bound to the same fate as my own._

A cool, slender finger touched Kakashi's left brow where the scar began. He frowned initially, but when the pressure did not lighten on his forehead, he relaxed and did not open his eyes. Permission thus granted, the finger traced the knife wound down Kakashi's face, over his eyelids, and across his cheek ending just before the jawline. Kakashi felt the weight distribution of the bed shift once more as the young man beside him sat up to look down at him. A smooth, cool hand pressed boldly against the side of his face. Kakashi lifted an arm and cupped the hand with his own. "Sasuke," he breathed sleepily. "What are you doing?"

The jounin's eyes snapped open and locked onto Sasuke's so suddenly that the latter attempted to withdraw his hand. It slipped from Kakashi's face, but the jounin's hand captured it once more and held it possessively over Kakashi's heart. Sasuke frowned and averted his eyes. "I don't know."

Kakashi bent his knees and leaned forward to try and catch the Uchiha's eye again. Sasuke attempted again to free his hand, failed, and turned away even more. As much as he could, in a very child-like gesture. Kakashi understood then what it was that was different. _There is still one more thing you haven't told me. You want to, but there are no easy words for it, are there? _ Would it help if Sasuke knew he'd already figured it out from listening to him sleep these past few nights?

Sasuke made another attempt at freeing himself from Kakashi's grasp. He pulled harder, angrier now, doing the one thing that ever felt safe to him. He was turning his discomfort into something useful - powerful. "Let go," he growled through gritted teeth, the faintest hint of the sharingan about to be activated swirling in the dark circles of his eyes.

Kakashi bowed his head forward ever so slightly and sighed. "Sasuke..."

Using the element of surprise, Kakashi's free arm shot up and grabbed Sasuke by the nape and pulled him forward with all his might, stopping just a hair's breadth away from butting heads.

"What the hell!" Sasuke hissed angrily as both hands found Kakashi's chest and pressed against it. The jounin closed his eyes and closed the gap between them, pressing Sasuke's forehead against his own. He felt the dark chakra emanating from the hands on his chest and he gripped Sasuke's neck tighter in warning. "Sasuke, please..."

His free hand reached up to join the other on Sasuke's neck, but was careful not to fully encircle it. "You don't have to say any more," Kakashi whispered with a strain of urgency, wincing as the dark chakra began to grow hot against his chest. "I know about Orochimaru! Sasuke, _I know."_

Kakashi felt a sharp pain in his chest as the dark chakra emitted a small but sudden burst of heat, then simply disappeared. A groan escaped his lips and his eyes felt heavy beneath his eyelids. Kakashi continued to cling to Sasuke's neck, this time for support instead of restraint. Slender hands that had moments ago tried to burn him for the second time that day climbed up his chest and onto his shoulders, helping him stay upright. "You don't have to say anything. It'll be okay," Kakashi gasped, feeling drops of sweat trickle down the side of his face. "You don't have to run..."

"I'm sorry," he heard the young man whisper. "You must be disappointed."

In response, Kakashi pressed his forehead harder against Sasuke's and lifted one hand from the Uchiha's neck to cup his face. He frowned slightly when he felt a tear slip down the side of the face and onto his hand. Kakashi's other hand released Sasuke's neck and rolled down the young man's back, resting somewhere in the middle of the spine. "You don't have to run anymore," Kakashi repeated, feeling entirely drained. With the last of his strength he applied pressure on Sasuke's back, pushing him even closer, and sealed the promise with a kiss.

It was a chaste kiss. It was a deliciously forbidden kiss. It knocked the wind out of Sasuke and slipped the world from under him like that tragic night so many years ago - mad and terrifying and pure. But unlike that night and the many dark nights that followed, this felt _right_. Overwhelmingly, perfectly _right_. And in the briefest of moments that it took for two kindred spirits to brush lips, Sasuke felt complete.

For the second time that day, Kakashi slumped into Sasuke's arms. The young Uchiha cradled the unconscious jounin for a minute, holding him possessively to his chest. He leaned forward, his face brushing against the side of Kakashi's face. "Thank you," he whispered. Then Sasuke lay him down gently onto the bed and climbed off. He pulled the blanket up and over Kakashi's body up to his chest, retrieved the face cloth he had used earlier and dabbed it with water from the jounin's canteen. Kakashi had had it on him that morning when he went out to search for the Uchiha. Sasuke placed the cloth on Kakashi's forehead and ran his hand through the thick white hair.

What they had transcended any truly physical need. It was stronger than blood, but just as complex and inescapable. It had been there all along, he realized, simmering just under the surface. All the things that had happened in the past few days -- there really were no words to describe such a bond. But if in fact it could be summed up in a four letter word that probably appeared in every other page of the jounin's favorite books - then it by no means conformed to the conventional definition of the word. Sasuke climbed back onto the bed and lay beside Kakashi. He stayed near the edge, far from touching the man but just close enough to feel... connected. Safe. There was something about Kakashi's presence that unlocked a kind of freedom for Sasuke: a liberation that could only come from finding someone willing to share the burden of his tragedy, and from whom he felt no need to keep secrets. Relief - it was a comforting feeling.

_When I wake up, it'll always be you. _

Sasuke studied the profile of Kakashi's face for the remainder of the night, until the lull of sleep stole him, too, from the waking world.

* * *

"What the hell happened here!"

Sasuke opened his eyes slowly to the sight of Kakashi being lectured by a very angry Tsunade-sama. "An entire ANBU squad who was _supposed_ to be watching _you_, ended up chasing a missing-nin all night! They didn't catch him, but you knew they wouldn't, didn't you? Because he came here to visit YOU!" Kakashi shot him a weary, apologetic glance as the Fifth continued on her angry tirade. Sasuke turned over onto his back and saw from the corner of his eye two familiar heads of blonde and pink hair standing near the door. In Naruto's hand was a tray that looked like a cereal breakfast for one. Sakura was holding a bouquet of flowers with a Get Well card tucked into it. They were both staring at him, Kakashi and Tsunade-sama in stunned silence. "... then I come in expecting to RELEASE you, and you look more dead than you did yesterday with that _boy_ sleeping beside you!"

Sasuke sat up and hopped off the bed without a word. He shoved his hands in his pockets and nonchalantly walked around his two former teammates, oblivious to their curious stares. "Naruto," Sasuke called in a hushed voice, though he could feel the heated glare of the Fifth on the back of his head. "Come with me."

He left the room before he could hear whatever snide remark Tsunade-sama had likely made before returning to giving Kakashi the third degree. If the white-haired jounin knew what was good for him, he'd continue to sit silently. He'd have a better chance of being treated if he managed to weather the Fifth's anger without interruption. Besides, Sasuke did not want to be around when Kakashi had to explain the new bruising on his chest.

* * *

They stood in front of the hospital gates facing each other as they had often stood before: on opposing ends. Sasuke was leaning back casually, one leg bent against the wall. His hands remained loose at his sides and in his pockets. Everything about his demeanor radiated coolness, an ability excercised effortlessly by the Uchiha and that Naruto had always envied. Dark eyes descended from whatever distant thought Sasuke had momentarily retreated to and fell onto Naruto's blue. "The past few years were hard on you," he said.

The laugh came easily to Naruto's lips as he folded both hands behind his head. "It wasn't that bad. I mean, Ero-sennin pushed me hard, but --"

"You never stopped wanting to come after me," Sasuke cut in, his eyes fixed with an intensity that made Naruto blush and look away.

"Well, you were being an idiot. Of course I wanted to --"

"Naruto," Sasuke silenced him once more. He pushed himself from the wall and took two steps towards the other young man. "I'm not apologizing for what happened. Just stating it."

Naruto tried to keep a straight face, but it was hard to mask the crushing disappointment at that moment. Sasuke continued without pause, "I've been cruel and hurt you more than anyone else." _Save myself_, he added silently. "In the future, I'll probably hurt you again."

A sharp, needle-like pain stabbed through Naruto's heart. He clenched his fists and cursed the Uchiha in his head. Sasuke turned sideways and stared at him with what appeared to be mild curiosity. Cruelly, a smile appeared on his lips. "So I thank you, Naruto."

The blonde blinked back tears. "What?"

Sasuke closed the gap between them in three quick strides. "For being a stubborn fool," he replied calmly, their faces now inches from each other. "And... my friend."

"Your _only _friend," the bitter retort came out before Naruto could stop himself. A second passed, then two. In the third, they both broke into a chuckle. The light of the moment, however, was fleeting and faded fast from Naruto's eyes. "You're going to leave again," he realized.

Surprised by the blonde's insight, Sasuke took a second to choose his next words. "Not anytime soon."

"But you will." Blue eyes pleaded with black. "Why can't you ever stay?"

"My future is beyond these walls," Sasuke shook his head sadly.

Conviction hardened Naruto's voice. "I'll come after you."

The Uchiha bowed his head, long dark hair effectively masking his face. "There are nobler causes," he spoke cautiously, baiting. "Dreams to pursue."

"No, I don't believe that!" Naruto snapped angrily. He grabbed a handful of the other boy's shirt in his fist, a growl emanating from his throat. "There was a time, Sasuke, when even a selfish bastard like you chose a friend over his dream."

A smile formed slowly on lips beneath the long dark bangs. "Then we're both fools, aren't we?"

"Yo!"

They both turned to see Kakashi hobble out of the hospital towards them with the help of a crutch. Sakura was at his side, one arm disappearing behind the jounin's back, the other carrying his vest and other belongings tied in a neat package. Kakashi waved at the young men, his eyes squinted up in a smile. "We're not interrupting anything, are we?" he teased.

Naruto let go of Sasuke and pushed away abruptly. Sasuke smoothed out his shirt and shot the blonde a quick glance before making his way over to the jounin. Kakashi nodded an "okay" to Sakura, and she left his side to walk towards Naruto. As he approached Sakura halfway, Sasuke thought of how difficult he had made her life as well. She stopped before him and shyly held out Kakashi's things. Sasuke caught her eye and offered her a small but genuine smile before taking the package. Sakura blushed instantly and forgave him for all the tears she'd cried. Sasuke's smile faltered as she brushed by happily towards Naruto. _You should not be so easily forgiving, Sakura,_ he thought as he took his place beside Kakashi.

He looked up at the man and unconsciously bit his lower lip, where it still tingled from the night before. Sasuke then turned to watch his two former teammates - his friends - standing at the gates.

"I am not my brother," he spoke softly, the words meant for the jounin's ears only. The anguish those words cost formed a small frown on his face as he raised his hand in farewell to Sakura and Naruto, who were headed on their own way.

Kakashi looked down in surprise and placed his free hand on Sasuke's shoulder, stroking the back of his neck reassuringly with his thumb, out of sight from any ANBU who may still be watching them. "I know who you are," he replied.

Sasuke's body yielded immediately to the touch. He cast his gaze heavenwards and let out a deep sigh. His destiny was out there. He felt it as clearly and deeply as the bonds that tied him to these people who had stood before him mere seconds ago. Destiny called out to him constantly and left a restlessness in his heart. But for today, for however long Fate chose to let this period of his short life last, Sasuke felt his place was here. His eyes wandered back up to the white-haired man with awe and deep, unbinding affection. _Don't worry, Naruto. I'm not going anywhere yet._ "Come on," he said, slipping an arm securely around Kakashi's waist. "I'll take you home."

* * *

THE END

I am but a poor, starving, sleep deprived author who lives solely on the charity of generous reviewers like you. Every comment makes a difference. So please give and help save my soul.


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